Post 2

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone. Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it’s beef. When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live. Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick butt at the same time. Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Chuck Norris once shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so bad, he put it back together. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys.