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Another fake blog post

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Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only person that could fly. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.

A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made from real cowboys. Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a round room. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square. Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live. Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun. Chuck Norris once ate at Taco Bell and didn’t get diarrhea. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.